Saturday, 23 May 2009

William Shakespeare's Star Trek

Having seen the new movie, I've been going back to the old Star Trek TV series (well the remastered version of the old Star Trek TV series) - and one of the first things I noticed was how stagy the whole thing seemed. Which in turn led me to remember the over-zealous fans of the series who declared that if Shakespeare were alive in the 20th century he would have been writing episodes of Star Trek.

So I just had to have a bit of a go:



KIRK, a Captain, in the service of Starfleet
SPOCK, his lieutenant and a Gentleman of Vulcan
MCCOY, a doctor
CHEKOV, a Navigator
STONN, a Gentleman of Vulcan

T'PRING, bethrothed to SPOCK
T'PAU, a lady of Vulcan
CHRISTINE, a nurse
UHURA, a messenger

Scene I
The Enterprise - A Corridor

Enter Kirk and McCoy

McCoy: Oh Captain, hast thou a minute?

Kirk: A minute, for what purpose good doctor?

McCoy: Thy right hand, Spock. Strange behaviours have thy

Kirk: No good doctor, why dost thou ask?

McCoy: Tis nought a finger I could place upon,
Yet suffering of strange maladies dost
He appear to be. For that he were not
Of Vulcan, his mind might seem unquiet.
And for three days hence he appears not to
Have supp'd.

Kirk: In contemplative phase perhaps he be.
Would not be uncommon for Spock.

Enter Christine

McCoy: Good nurse, Miss Chapel, come hither.

Christine: Good morrow sir doctor, captain.

McCoy: What steaming elixir carries thou?

Christine: This bowl?

McCoy: Tis plomeek soup, a dish of Vulcan. Made
I wouldst venture by thy fair hand. Holdst thou
Ever hope's flickering candle within
Thy bosom.

Christine: Perchance I noticed. Spock, he eats not.

Kirk: Prithee continue thy business, good nurse.

Exit Christine

Kirk: Sawbones, my clock is winged.

McCoy: Jim, when I did suggest to Spock that his
Exam was overdue, thy first officer
In whose skull passionless logic resides
Turn'd to me and spake "Thy will cease to
Pry into behaviours personal to
Me, doctor, else I shall be most certain
To break thy neck."

Kirk: Tis hard to fathom such words from the ever
Sturdy Spock.


1 comment:

burger_eater said...

This is great, man. Keep going!